Decisions, Decisions

Okay, so skip today's post if you're looking for something food related, or profound. Today I needed to ramble.

Well, this has been bothering me for a whole day now, and I think I just need to get my thoughts written down and share them. I got a job offer yesterday. A real job offer. Only for part time, and it was unsolicited. I am a stay at home Mom. And really, have not had the interest in going back to work. Before I stayed home I was a retail manager for a major craft retailer. I have to share a little background so I can get the full perspective. I was an assistant under the store manager- and we had no other management. He and I ran the store very successfully as a team. Essentially, I was his co-manager, but without the requirements of the rigorous schedule that entails that title. And like I said, we were an awesome team. Our store excelled and was one of the best in the company. Then I became pregnant, and really had a tough time choosing to stay at home. We were building this store for me to run. Eventually my manager would move up, and I would take the store. I was literally crying when I turned in my keys. I loved my job. I love retail. Love it. While Inventory time makes most people scream and cringe, I live for it. I love knowing how well we are doing as a store. I love all the counting and figuring and things that go with it.

Anyway, the deicison to leave work was because I am a workaholic. I stay until the job is done. And I think I knew in my heart that regardless what precious child was waiting for Mommy at home, work would always win out. So I chose to quit and Andy chose to support the family. After 4 months at home, I was called by my manager. He was being promoted to District Manager, and he called to share that with me, because I helped get him there. Was I interested in a co-manager position? Not on your life. But, maybe I could work Saturday mornings in the cash office? Sure thing. I did that for nearly 3 years. I worked every Saturday morning, and occasionally during the week when the regular office girl needed a day off. When I was very pregnant with Zander, I was working more days during the week, and I had enough. I wasn't spending enough time with Abigail as it was, and now I was going to have to balance my time between two children. So I left the store, and haven't been back except to shop.

Then yesterday my old boss calls. Of course, I knew he wanted something...but we chatted for awhile, and then he made the offer. Nothing big, but he was wondering if I would be willing to come in 2 days a week to work in his district office. He can't promote from within, because there's sensitive material at hand there. And he doesn't have anyone he really trusts to call. So he calls me. That does mean a lot that he would call after all this time. And part of me is wondering if I want to do it. It definitely wouldn't be for the money, because I would likely have to pay for child care for Zander for one of the two days. And while I don't know why I really would want to...there is a part of me that does. So now I just have to sit and think about it. Logistically it really isn't much of a possibilty right now anyway. We only have one vehicle, and won't have another one until the end of March. And I can't imagine leaving Zander with someone else- even if it were family. So I don't know. I have always kept the option of retunring to work in my back pocket. And every time Andy has gone through a job change, the thought has been there to call and see what they could do for me. Could I be the breadwinner for the family? And if I say no this time, does that burn that bridge? Do I have no chance to go back ever? But do I want to go back ever? There are many things to consider here. And part of me is laughing that I am even considering, because we're only talking a few hours each Thursday and Friday mornings.

So there. I've shared, and sorry if I've bored, but I really needed to get that down.

And on a happy more rational note! Tomorrow is Zander's 2nd birthday!! His giant cookie is decorated, Thomas is all over our dining and living rooms, and the presents are wrapped. So it will be a nice day. Dinner will be simple, but will be delicious, so I will be back to share tomorrow.