Thursday, January 26, 2006

Decisions, Decisions

Okay, so skip today's post if you're looking for something food related, or profound. Today I needed to ramble.

Well, this has been bothering me for a whole day now, and I think I just need to get my thoughts written down and share them. I got a job offer yesterday. A real job offer. Only for part time, and it was unsolicited. I am a stay at home Mom. And really, have not had the interest in going back to work. Before I stayed home I was a retail manager for a major craft retailer. I have to share a little background so I can get the full perspective. I was an assistant under the store manager- and we had no other management. He and I ran the store very successfully as a team. Essentially, I was his co-manager, but without the requirements of the rigorous schedule that entails that title. And like I said, we were an awesome team. Our store excelled and was one of the best in the company. Then I became pregnant, and really had a tough time choosing to stay at home. We were building this store for me to run. Eventually my manager would move up, and I would take the store. I was literally crying when I turned in my keys. I loved my job. I love retail. Love it. While Inventory time makes most people scream and cringe, I live for it. I love knowing how well we are doing as a store. I love all the counting and figuring and things that go with it.

Anyway, the deicison to leave work was because I am a workaholic. I stay until the job is done. And I think I knew in my heart that regardless what precious child was waiting for Mommy at home, work would always win out. So I chose to quit and Andy chose to support the family. After 4 months at home, I was called by my manager. He was being promoted to District Manager, and he called to share that with me, because I helped get him there. Was I interested in a co-manager position? Not on your life. But, maybe I could work Saturday mornings in the cash office? Sure thing. I did that for nearly 3 years. I worked every Saturday morning, and occasionally during the week when the regular office girl needed a day off. When I was very pregnant with Zander, I was working more days during the week, and I had enough. I wasn't spending enough time with Abigail as it was, and now I was going to have to balance my time between two children. So I left the store, and haven't been back except to shop.

Then yesterday my old boss calls. Of course, I knew he wanted something...but we chatted for awhile, and then he made the offer. Nothing big, but he was wondering if I would be willing to come in 2 days a week to work in his district office. He can't promote from within, because there's sensitive material at hand there. And he doesn't have anyone he really trusts to call. So he calls me. That does mean a lot that he would call after all this time. And part of me is wondering if I want to do it. It definitely wouldn't be for the money, because I would likely have to pay for child care for Zander for one of the two days. And while I don't know why I really would want to...there is a part of me that does. So now I just have to sit and think about it. Logistically it really isn't much of a possibilty right now anyway. We only have one vehicle, and won't have another one until the end of March. And I can't imagine leaving Zander with someone else- even if it were family. So I don't know. I have always kept the option of retunring to work in my back pocket. And every time Andy has gone through a job change, the thought has been there to call and see what they could do for me. Could I be the breadwinner for the family? And if I say no this time, does that burn that bridge? Do I have no chance to go back ever? But do I want to go back ever? There are many things to consider here. And part of me is laughing that I am even considering, because we're only talking a few hours each Thursday and Friday mornings.

So there. I've shared, and sorry if I've bored, but I really needed to get that down.

And on a happy more rational note! Tomorrow is Zander's 2nd birthday!! His giant cookie is decorated, Thomas is all over our dining and living rooms, and the presents are wrapped. So it will be a nice day. Dinner will be simple, but will be delicious, so I will be back to share tomorrow.


Lizzy said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZANDER!!! My Boyfriend is old enough to date me!, he's my nephew...but he's definitely the lookingest looker I've ever met! :) As far as the job goes, man, if I had a car to give you I would. I miss working at HL so much, and two mornings a week would probably give me just enough of a fix to be happy about it, and I'd LOVE to work in the office. Then again, I don't have children, and I don't know if I necessarily plan on staying home with my kids when I have them...but I'll probably be overseas, and fewer options will be available to me then. If you need someone to rant and rave at, call me or send me an email--maybe I can help you just figure out what all you're thinking. I love you!

~Lil' Sis

the rachel said...

well, big sis. my car isn't working right now, but i think it just needs a new battery. cody and i are working in the same mall, so we can easily make one car work. so, if i get a new battery (after i get my tax return) and the car works, it's yours to use. of course, one of us would need to register it, so...well, it's a thought, anyways. i love you! i'll be at zander's party tonight.

Lizzy said...

Oooh! We'll just keep giving our cars to each other! Wait--that's singular--we'll keep giving our car to each other! :) Love you lots!!!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a good opportunity to at least try it and see if working again is something you want. You could always start with the understanding that you'd try it for 3-6 months, and if it's not what you want, then you could stop. If you discussed your feelings with him before hand I'm sure he'd agree to a trial period (he sounds desperate). Personally I think you should go for it!

On a foodie note: Do you have a good no-boil manicotti recipe?


Jenn said...

I understand what you are going through. There have been several times where i have thought i would have to get a job. It has always worked out that i didn't. I also understand about not wanting to leave Zander. It really is a tough decision. Like Belle said if this is something you really want to do give it a test run before really commiting. ON the other side with only working two day. You have to pay for child care for one day. NOt cheap. You also have to pay for gas there and back. Would you make enough to make it really your worth while. Just some things for you to think about. How does Andy feel about. It?

Erika said...

Well, as I said, there are lots of things to consider. Really, the money is not the issue. I don't need to work, and when Andy is working, child care is affordable. For me the two issues are being Mommy- which is first and foremost. And the second issue is that I enjoyed working. Right now I am leaning towards not taking it. I have plans for myself for sure once Zander is in school, but possibly sooner as he becomes a little more independant. So we'll see. I appreciate everyone's input though, it helps me think about different aspects of the idea, and helps me think it through.

Erika said...

Oh, and Belle, I sent you a recipe for Manicotti to your MSN account. :-)